Dan Brown?

by Gilbert Keith

I think people need to re-evaluate what qualifies as literature. Seriously. In Raths’ class 7 people (out of about 30) said they would recommend he read Dan Brown books. In Humanities,  about 12 out of 33 students read either Angels and Demons or The DaVinci Code for the outside reading project.

I wonder whether you people have read ANYTHING other than Dan Brown (note: reading material must be intellectually stimulating by my standards). Do you know any author other than Dan Brown? Are you seriously recommending RATHS read it? Don’t tell me you like all his works or that he’s a good author. I can tell a good author from a bad author and he certainly isn’t one. A good author might win a Pulitzer Prize for his work; heck, he might win a Nobel also. I don’t see Dan Brown claiming ANY of those awards. NONE EVER. I call his books crap because:
A. There is no elegance in his works.
B. The character development is extremely superficial (if at all there is any).
C. The plots, which most people consider Brown is good at, aren’t interesting AT ALL. There is a difference between an interesting plot and a “confusing plot which seems good because it invokes historical and intellectual”. There is also a significant difference between an interesting plot and one which renders the book a mere page-turner.
D. Those works are extremely fantastic and they appeal to, er, slow audiences who don’t realize the fantasy. DON’T YOU REALIZE BOOKS ABOUT HISTORY ARE FOUND IN THE NON-FICTION SECTION IN BARNES AND NOBLES????>>?>?>???//>?

Apparently, the teachers chose to include these books among the list of potential candidate books for the outside reading project because the discussion of artworks is very pertinent to the course material taught in the class. EXCUSE ME? How did The Three Musketeers fit that category?? It was written in the Romantic era and clearly discussed Romantic ideals. The baroque period  (which lasted for two centuries) is yet to be covered in the class. Furthermore, I didn’t see any discussion to art or sculpture in my book.

Another interesting thing I saw is that some people were uncomfortable with the books because they disliked how Christianity was looked upon. First, I reiterate that all that junk is made up, so there is absolutely no reason to be uncomfortable. Second, it seems pathetic of you to be uncomfortable of such stuff only when it concerns some Everyman like yourself. Why don’t you just read about Alexander Borgia and his incestuous affairs and then talk about how uncomfortable it makes you? Please?

Last, but not the least, let me invoke the influential Stephen Colbert (Thanks to Michael for the inspiration).

It would take a million monkeys typing on typewriters for an eternity to write the complete works of William Shakespeare.
It would take 10, 000 monkeys 10, 000 years of typing to produce a Hemingway… but you’d have to get them drunk first.
It would take 10 monkeys typing for one 3-day weekend to produce a Dan Brown. Actually, no typewriters are needed. They’ll just smear it on the wall.