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Is pretty much Wptogo, isn’t it….?

Some philosophising

Here goes.

I looked at my resume just now. It looks kind of stupid, honestly. Yeah, I’ve volunteered places. Yeah, I’ve had previous work experience. Yeah, I’ve taken some classes and can do some cool things. Honestly, though, it’s a goddamn piece of paper and I am sick of the amount of time I’m having to spend looking at it and trying to make changes that will make it infinitesmally more acceptable.

Up to now, I’ve done pretty everything from a rather detached position. It’s been pretty good historically. I’ve met people I wouldn’t have otherwise met, learnt some skills I wouldn’t have otherwise found necessary…. and that’s it. I guess it’s a good thing that I’ve been able to un-commit myself from things that I’m not particularly fond of, but there’s also the problem that I haven’t really been committing myself to things I am fond of!

There are very few activities I’ve really “enjoyed” doing so much that I’d like to commit the rest of my future in pursuit of those activities. There is quizbowl, which I was mad about for a few years, but I have tired myself out of it. The continued introduction to new and interesting personalities/scientists/historical concepts/art was what attracted me to it. Now, there is nothing exciting left about the whole deal. There was math team for a couple of years, but I knew that was just a hobby. I’ve spent time working with Do It Green, which has been fairly rewarding, but I am not sure it (or an analogue of it) is something I’d want to work with for a significant amount of time.

I envision my ideal future as one in which I participate in something new every day, every week, every month, every year of my life. Though I seem to cherish daily routines (I’ve been trying pretty hard for the last few semesters to get one set up) I only seem to enjoy things when they are novelties. In this vein, I’m sure there is no way in hell that I’ll be able to commit to a significant other. The song that probably most closely identifies my disposition towards that is:

Drunken revelry notwithstanding.

I think my only means of salvation is to love being a good student. Love classes with all my heart and learn to love pipetting/plate streaking/and other miscellaneous lab techniques. Perhaps that may involve being as disciplined as my roommate Max, if not more. Perhaps it may mean me being somewhat bored with life until I’m 28. Ultimately, here’s what I want with life: financial stability, so that I can do things without having to worry about where the next paycheck is coming from; intellectually stimulating companionship, so that I can continue to learn about various things everyday; an atmosphere of confusion-free, clutter-free expression, so that I can comment on various things I find interesting without having to worry about what future consequences might be.

By the by, this ultimately seems like an exercise in futility. To explain why, please consider this episode from the Mahabharata:

In the famous ‘Yaksha Prasna’ in the Mahabharata, the Yaksha asks Dharmaputra to answer a few questions and stipulates that if he does not give proper answers, he would be killed the same way as his other Pandava brothers were killed. One of the questions is – “What is the most astonishing thing in this world”? Dharmaputra answers :
“Seeing and knowing that people all around them are dying day in and day out before their very eyes, those that observe this phenomenon imagine that they themselves are going to live forever and go on indulging in sensuous pleasures without realizing that they are also subject to the same inevitable and inexorable death sooner or later. And, this is the most astonishing thing.”

Bolding mine. Source. To clarify, in no way am I affiliated with any Vaishnavite sect, and neither do I endorse the views expressed on that site. I just thought the example was apt.

–Gautam

Withdrawal

I am going through severe withdrawal right now. Basically, I blocked a bunch of websites which I browsed a lot for no apparent reason. They include: Facebook, NAQT-MQBA, HSQuizBowl forum, and some other minor sites. Every single time I open a browser, I go to facebook first and only then access other stuff. it’s sorta become a dependency. I know that nobody has written on my wall nor has anybody commented on my photos; yet, I go to facebook and waste a lot of time every single hour. Same with the HSQuizBowl and NAQT. I always feel something interesting is going to popup at the forum or that Mr. Hentzel will upload stats on the website. When I get there, I end up spending time looking at random stats from 2003 or something, or looking at the HSNCT thread because I am so nervous/excited about it. I really need to stop that. Like Matt said a few days ago, ‘Facebook will be the end of civilization [. . .] I worry that in a few years, we are all going to become hunter gatherers looking to improve our wi-fi access so that we can have a better facebook experience’ (or something to that effect).

Obvious things that I feel I should state explicitly:

• DON’T expect me to answer your posts on my wall. I amn’t notified of your posts anyway, so I won’t even know if you’re posted.
• I will occasionally log on to RSVP to an event I am invited to. I don’t want to leave the hosts uninformed about my decision to attend.
• I use the Note import tool from my blog, so I amn’t logging onto facebook to write this post.

I started my project of memorizing world leaders and I think I know about 1/3 of them by this point. I am going to start working on that damned portfolio by tomorrow. I wonder why it’s due May 22. Then again, I have to reread Frankenstein. That was a good book, and I don’t mind rereading it… but there is some stupid study guide I need to fill out. Lame. I was going through all the paper shit lying by my desk today and I came across a really old Inferno take home test. I was such a terrible writer last year.. I can’t understand what I was thinking when I wrote that paper. On that note, I think I was much better off using English back in eighth grade than I am now. Interestingly enough, I use infinity times more English every day now than I did back then.

OK. Time to sleep.

Gautam

Another scam?

I decided to check how much my blog is worth and I found out something interesting. I first evaluated my blogger blog and found out that it was worth nothing.

Your blog, gkandlikar.blogspot.com, is worth $0.00

 

My blog is worth $0.00.
How much is your blog worth?

Interestingly enough, when I try this wordpress address (which basically has the same content + some new posts in the last few days), I get this:

Your blog, gkandlikar.wordpress.com, is worth $1,129.08

 

My blog is worth $1,129.08.
How much is your blog worth?

What could account for such disparity? The only plausible reasons seem to be that:

• the last few posts have appreciated my new blog
• the new “pages” have appreciated my new blog
• technorati doesn’t like blogger (or loves wordpress)
• I suddenly have become really cool.

Gautam